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Trump contradicts top aides with reversal after Putin phone call
MSNBC.com - 16 hours ago
Jake Tapper: Donald Trump lied about campaign rebuffing Russian outreach
CNN.com - 21 hours ago
Trump embattled on several fronts as oversight deadlines come due
MSNBC.com - 16 hours ago
Trump: Putin "Smiled" On Phone Call, Said Collusion "Started Off As A ...
RealClearPolitics - 22 hours ago
Pelosi leaves impeachment on the table as Trump calls Putin
MSNBC.com - 21 hours ago
Michael Cohen's friend: 'More to come' on Trump
MSNBC.com - 21 hours ago
Clapper: Trump and Putin are in a state of denial
CNN.com - 21 hours ago
Cooper: Trump is incapable of confronting Putin
CNN.com - 19 hours ago
Mueller Insider: He will reveal Trump's criminal obstruction
MSNBC.com - 21 hours ago
Trump: Did not address election meddling with Putin
CNN.com - 1 day ago
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Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) · Twitter
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump
How can it be possible that James Woods (and many others), a strong but responsible Conservative Voice, is banned from Twitter? Social Media & Fake News Media, together with their partner, the Democrat Party, have no idea the problems they are causing for themselves. VERY UNFAIR!
2 hours ago
Today, May 4th - is International Firefighters Day! We remember all of those who put their lives on the line to save others, and are grateful to those who continue to do so 24/7/365. We love our great firefighters, thank you! #ThankAFirefighter pic.twitter.com/LBSfQRF…
2 hours ago
Very good call yesterday with President Putin of Russia. Tremendous potential for a good/great relationship with Russia, despite what you read and see in the Fake News Media. Look how they have misled you on “Russia Collusion.” The World can be a better and safer place. Nice!
6 hours ago
Anything in this very interesting world is possible, but I believe that Kim Jong Un fully realizes the great economic potential of North Korea, & will do nothing to interfere or end it. He also knows that I am with him & does not want to break his promise to me. Deal will happen!
6 hours ago
When will the Radical Left Wing Media apologize to me for knowingly getting the Russia Collusion Delusion story so wrong? The real story is about to happen! Why is @nytimes, @washingtonpost, @CNN, @MSNBC allowed to be on Twitter & Facebook. Much of what they do is FAKE NEWS!
7 hours ago
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Home | Donald J. Trump for President
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Help continue our promise to Make America Great Again!
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May 3- John Kelly, former White House chief of staff, has joined the board of Caliburn International Corp, the parent of an operator of a shelter for ...
Donald J. Trump - Home | Facebook
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Donald J. Trump, New York, NY. 23948277 likes · 1548630 talking about this. This is the official Facebook page for Donald J. Trump.
Donald Trump - latest news, breaking stories and comment - The ...
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Donald J. Trump Jr. is an innovator and leader in today's young business world. As an Executive Vice President at The Trump Organization, Donald Jr. works to ...
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2
My son just turned 15 months, and I’m not really sure. I think he might be objectively cute. Legend has it that my best friend’s mom — who has four grandchildren — deemed him an “exceptionally cute baby” in the presence of my best friend, who has a son born just months before mine. This kind of social evidence leads me to believe that my assessment is accurate, but I accept that I might never actually know. Recently, though, a group of mean-ish moms made me wonder if a little bit of conniving could have given me more of an idea.
Here’s what happened: My neighbor Liz is on a text chain with a group of moms who live in her native Australia. A friend of theirs gave birth earlier this month and was being indecisive about choosing a name. After nine days of nameless baby, Liz received an update: The newborn now had a name, and it was Charlene. Liz did what most people would do when faced with a seemingly unchangeable fact about a new friend’s baby. She lied: Beautiful!she responded. She can be Charlie.
But Charlene was not the baby’s name at all. To see if they could prompt a false fawning reaction, Liz’s friends had presented a fake name, one they found unfortunate and knew that, in her heart, Liz would too. From half a world away, they went about making merciless fun of her. When I heard this story, I felt joy first and foremost. Then I felt inspiration.
If you can gauge your friends’ honesty over a name, why not apply the same technique to a photo? While you might not ever know the true nature of your baby’s looks, tricking your friends will at least let you know if your Instagram likes are born out of obligation or merit. The scheme I’m about to outline works best if your baby is very new and underexposed online. All you need to do is find one random, not-cute baby photo from the internet, and do what Liz’s friends did: Send the lie to a friend and say he’s yours.
Now, I doubt even the meanest of your friends is likely to say your baby isn’t cute. But I do think you can do some decoding. What does the reaction say, exactly?
Get unlimited access to The Cut and everything else New York.
Wow, look at his expression! What a smart-looking baby. He looks like he’s really thinking and taking the world in. Congratulations: This means you can trust your friend, who cannot bring herself to lie about an ugly baby. She is searching and working, hard, to compliment him in departments other than looks. Your next step is to send her a text like this: Haha, weird. I sent the wrong pic. That’s actually a baby from my mom group. This one’s mine. And if she reacts the same way, refusing to rely on physical compliments? It’s possible you’ll never really know if your baby’s ugly. He might be. He might not be. Maybe you just don’t have superficial friends.
But say your friend reacts like this: OMG, what a gorgeous baby! That is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. AW, sooooo cute. Well. You have a little bit more of a hint that you could be parading around an ugly baby, unaware. You’ll have to retract this photo too — a clumsy friend might even confess at this point. But what you now know is that at least one of your friends is the kind who’d let you believe your ugly baby is cute.
You might be wondering if it’s possible for any baby to be ugly or just uncute. Get off your high horse and get down on the stable floors with me. We both know that once you cross into your 30s and more and more people start having families the tenor of mean-girl conversation turns to this. You’re probably drinking an IPA or a glass of white wine (gross) in a not-loud, well-lit place, but all the same, after two drinks, you’re going to lower your voice and insult the looks of a mutual acquaintance’s loved one. But you’re older now, the areas of social vulnerability have expanded, and instead of insulting someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend, you insult their baby. I don’t think she’s that cute, you say, giddy with the mean thrill.
Maybe your friend agrees with you, maybe she doesn’t. Perhaps the lesson to learn from this is that everyone’s baby is cute to someone or a few someones, who are hopefully their family. If that’s true, then everyone’s baby is probably ugly to at least a few people. If you trick them, you might be able to figure out if those someones are your friends.
3
My son just turned 15 months, and I’m not really sure. I think he might be objectively cute. Legend has it that my best friend’s mom — who has four grandchildren — deemed him an “exceptionally cute baby” in the presence of my best friend, who has a son born just months before mine. This kind of social evidence leads me to believe that my assessment is accurate, but I accept that I might never actually know. Recently, though, a group of mean-ish moms made me wonder if a little bit of conniving could have given me more of an idea.
Here’s what happened: My neighbor Liz is on a text chain with a group of moms who live in her native Australia. A friend of theirs gave birth earlier this month and was being indecisive about choosing a name. After nine days of nameless baby, Liz received an update: The newborn now had a name, and it was Charlene. Liz did what most people would do when faced with a seemingly unchangeable fact about a new friend’s baby. She lied: Beautiful!she responded. She can be Charlie.
But Charlene was not the baby’s name at all. To see if they could prompt a false fawning reaction, Liz’s friends had presented a fake name, one they found unfortunate and knew that, in her heart, Liz would too. From half a world away, they went about making merciless fun of her. When I heard this story, I felt joy first and foremost. Then I felt inspiration.
If you can gauge your friends’ honesty over a name, why not apply the same technique to a photo? While you might not ever know the true nature of your baby’s looks, tricking your friends will at least let you know if your Instagram likes are born out of obligation or merit. The scheme I’m about to outline works best if your baby is very new and underexposed online. All you need to do is find one random, not-cute baby photo from the internet, and do what Liz’s friends did: Send the lie to a friend and say he’s yours.
Now, I doubt even the meanest of your friends is likely to say your baby isn’t cute. But I do think you can do some decoding. What does the reaction say, exactly?
Get unlimited access to The Cut and everything else New York.
Wow, look at his expression! What a smart-looking baby. He looks like he’s really thinking and taking the world in. Congratulations: This means you can trust your friend, who cannot bring herself to lie about an ugly baby. She is searching and working, hard, to compliment him in departments other than looks. Your next step is to send her a text like this: Haha, weird. I sent the wrong pic. That’s actually a baby from my mom group. This one’s mine. And if she reacts the same way, refusing to rely on physical compliments? It’s possible you’ll never really know if your baby’s ugly. He might be. He might not be. Maybe you just don’t have superficial friends.
But say your friend reacts like this: OMG, what a gorgeous baby! That is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. AW, sooooo cute. Well. You have a little bit more of a hint that you could be parading around an ugly baby, unaware. You’ll have to retract this photo too — a clumsy friend might even confess at this point. But what you now know is that at least one of your friends is the kind who’d let you believe your ugly baby is cute.
You might be wondering if it’s possible for any baby to be ugly or just uncute. Get off your high horse and get down on the stable floors with me. We both know that once you cross into your 30s and more and more people start having families the tenor of mean-girl conversation turns to this. You’re probably drinking an IPA or a glass of white wine (gross) in a not-loud, well-lit place, but all the same, after two drinks, you’re going to lower your voice and insult the looks of a mutual acquaintance’s loved one. But you’re older now, the areas of social vulnerability have expanded, and instead of insulting someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend, you insult their baby. I don’t think she’s that cute, you say, giddy with the mean thrill.
Maybe your friend agrees with you, maybe she doesn’t. Perhaps the lesson to learn from this is that everyone’s baby is cute to someone or a few someones, who are hopefully their family. If that’s true, then everyone’s baby is probably ugly to at least a few people. If you trick them, you might be able to figure out if those someones are your friends.
4
My son just turned 15 months, and I’m not really sure. I think he might be objectively cute. Legend has it that my best friend’s mom — who has four grandchildren — deemed him an “exceptionally cute baby” in the presence of my best friend, who has a son born just months before mine. This kind of social evidence leads me to believe that my assessment is accurate, but I accept that I might never actually know. Recently, though, a group of mean-ish moms made me wonder if a little bit of conniving could have given me more of an idea.
Here’s what happened: My neighbor Liz is on a text chain with a group of moms who live in her native Australia. A friend of theirs gave birth earlier this month and was being indecisive about choosing a name. After nine days of nameless baby, Liz received an update: The newborn now had a name, and it was Charlene. Liz did what most people would do when faced with a seemingly unchangeable fact about a new friend’s baby. She lied: Beautiful!she responded. She can be Charlie.
But Charlene was not the baby’s name at all. To see if they could prompt a false fawning reaction, Liz’s friends had presented a fake name, one they found unfortunate and knew that, in her heart, Liz would too. From half a world away, they went about making merciless fun of her. When I heard this story, I felt joy first and foremost. Then I felt inspiration.
If you can gauge your friends’ honesty over a name, why not apply the same technique to a photo? While you might not ever know the true nature of your baby’s looks, tricking your friends will at least let you know if your Instagram likes are born out of obligation or merit. The scheme I’m about to outline works best if your baby is very new and underexposed online. All you need to do is find one random, not-cute baby photo from the internet, and do what Liz’s friends did: Send the lie to a friend and say he’s yours.
Now, I doubt even the meanest of your friends is likely to say your baby isn’t cute. But I do think you can do some decoding. What does the reaction say, exactly?
Get unlimited access to The Cut and everything else New York.
Wow, look at his expression! What a smart-looking baby. He looks like he’s really thinking and taking the world in. Congratulations: This means you can trust your friend, who cannot bring herself to lie about an ugly baby. She is searching and working, hard, to compliment him in departments other than looks. Your next step is to send her a text like this: Haha, weird. I sent the wrong pic. That’s actually a baby from my mom group. This one’s mine. And if she reacts the same way, refusing to rely on physical compliments? It’s possible you’ll never really know if your baby’s ugly. He might be. He might not be. Maybe you just don’t have superficial friends.
But say your friend reacts like this: OMG, what a gorgeous baby! That is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. AW, sooooo cute. Well. You have a little bit more of a hint that you could be parading around an ugly baby, unaware. You’ll have to retract this photo too — a clumsy friend might even confess at this point. But what you now know is that at least one of your friends is the kind who’d let you believe your ugly baby is cute.
You might be wondering if it’s possible for any baby to be ugly or just uncute. Get off your high horse and get down on the stable floors with me. We both know that once you cross into your 30s and more and more people start having families the tenor of mean-girl conversation turns to this. You’re probably drinking an IPA or a glass of white wine (gross) in a not-loud, well-lit place, but all the same, after two drinks, you’re going to lower your voice and insult the looks of a mutual acquaintance’s loved one. But you’re older now, the areas of social vulnerability have expanded, and instead of insulting someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend, you insult their baby. I don’t think she’s that cute, you say, giddy with the mean thrill.
Maybe your friend agrees with you, maybe she doesn’t. Perhaps the lesson to learn from this is that everyone’s baby is cute to someone or a few someones, who are hopefully their family. If that’s true, then everyone’s baby is probably ugly to at least a few people. If you trick them, you might be able to figure out if those someones are your friends.
My son just turned 15 months, and I’m not really sure. I think he might be objectively cute. Legend has it that my best friend’s mom — who has four grandchildren — deemed him an “exceptionally cute baby” in the presence of my best friend, who has a son born just months before mine. This kind of social evidence leads me to believe that my assessment is accurate, but I accept that I might never actually know. Recently, though, a group of mean-ish moms made me wonder if a little bit of conniving could have given me more of an idea.
Here’s what happened: My neighbor Liz is on a text chain with a group of moms who live in her native Australia. A friend of theirs gave birth earlier this month and was being indecisive about choosing a name. After nine days of nameless baby, Liz received an update: The newborn now had a name, and it was Charlene. Liz did what most people would do when faced with a seemingly unchangeable fact about a new friend’s baby. She lied: Beautiful!she responded. She can be Charlie.
But Charlene was not the baby’s name at all. To see if they could prompt a false fawning reaction, Liz’s friends had presented a fake name, one they found unfortunate and knew that, in her heart, Liz would too. From half a world away, they went about making merciless fun of her. When I heard this story, I felt joy first and foremost. Then I felt inspiration.
If you can gauge your friends’ honesty over a name, why not apply the same technique to a photo? While you might not ever know the true nature of your baby’s looks, tricking your friends will at least let you know if your Instagram likes are born out of obligation or merit. The scheme I’m about to outline works best if your baby is very new and underexposed online. All you need to do is find one random, not-cute baby photo from the internet, and do what Liz’s friends did: Send the lie to a friend and say he’s yours.
Now, I doubt even the meanest of your friends is likely to say your baby isn’t cute. But I do think you can do some decoding. What does the reaction say, exactly?
Get unlimited access to The Cut and everything else New York.
Wow, look at his expression! What a smart-looking baby. He looks like he’s really thinking and taking the world in. Congratulations: This means you can trust your friend, who cannot bring herself to lie about an ugly baby. She is searching and working, hard, to compliment him in departments other than looks. Your next step is to send her a text like this: Haha, weird. I sent the wrong pic. That’s actually a baby from my mom group. This one’s mine. And if she reacts the same way, refusing to rely on physical compliments? It’s possible you’ll never really know if your baby’s ugly. He might be. He might not be. Maybe you just don’t have superficial friends.
But say your friend reacts like this: OMG, what a gorgeous baby! That is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. AW, sooooo cute. Well. You have a little bit more of a hint that you could be parading around an ugly baby, unaware. You’ll have to retract this photo too — a clumsy friend might even confess at this point. But what you now know is that at least one of your friends is the kind who’d let you believe your ugly baby is cute.
You might be wondering if it’s possible for any baby to be ugly or just uncute. Get off your high horse and get down on the stable floors with me. We both know that once you cross into your 30s and more and more people start having families the tenor of mean-girl conversation turns to this. You’re probably drinking an IPA or a glass of white wine (gross) in a not-loud, well-lit place, but all the same, after two drinks, you’re going to lower your voice and insult the looks of a mutual acquaintance’s loved one. But you’re older now, the areas of social vulnerability have expanded, and instead of insulting someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend, you insult their baby. I don’t think she’s that cute, you say, giddy with the mean thrill.
Maybe your friend agrees with you, maybe she doesn’t. Perhaps the lesson to learn from this is that everyone’s baby is cute to someone or a few someones, who are hopefully their family. If that’s true, then everyone’s baby is probably ugly to at least a few people. If you trick them, you might be able to figure out if those someones are your friends.
My son just turned 15 months, and I’m not really sure. I think he might be objectively cute. Legend has it that my best friend’s mom — who has four grandchildren — deemed him an “exceptionally cute baby” in the presence of my best friend, who has a son born just months before mine. This kind of social evidence leads me to believe that my assessment is accurate, but I accept that I might never actually know. Recently, though, a group of mean-ish moms made me wonder if a little bit of conniving could have given me more of an idea.
Here’s what happened: My neighbor Liz is on a text chain with a group of moms who live in her native Australia. A friend of theirs gave birth earlier this month and was being indecisive about choosing a name. After nine days of nameless baby, Liz received an update: The newborn now had a name, and it was Charlene. Liz did what most people would do when faced with a seemingly unchangeable fact about a new friend’s baby. She lied: Beautiful!she responded. She can be Charlie.
But Charlene was not the baby’s name at all. To see if they could prompt a false fawning reaction, Liz’s friends had presented a fake name, one they found unfortunate and knew that, in her heart, Liz would too. From half a world away, they went about making merciless fun of her. When I heard this story, I felt joy first and foremost. Then I felt inspiration.
If you can gauge your friends’ honesty over a name, why not apply the same technique to a photo? While you might not ever know the true nature of your baby’s looks, tricking your friends will at least let you know if your Instagram likes are born out of obligation or merit. The scheme I’m about to outline works best if your baby is very new and underexposed online. All you need to do is find one random, not-cute baby photo from the internet, and do what Liz’s friends did: Send the lie to a friend and say he’s yours.
Now, I doubt even the meanest of your friends is likely to say your baby isn’t cute. But I do think you can do some decoding. What does the reaction say, exactly?
Get unlimited access to The Cut and everything else New York.
Wow, look at his expression! What a smart-looking baby. He looks like he’s really thinking and taking the world in. Congratulations: This means you can trust your friend, who cannot bring herself to lie about an ugly baby. She is searching and working, hard, to compliment him in departments other than looks. Your next step is to send her a text like this: Haha, weird. I sent the wrong pic. That’s actually a baby from my mom group. This one’s mine. And if she reacts the same way, refusing to rely on physical compliments? It’s possible you’ll never really know if your baby’s ugly. He might be. He might not be. Maybe you just don’t have superficial friends.
But say your friend reacts like this: OMG, what a gorgeous baby! That is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. AW, sooooo cute. Well. You have a little bit more of a hint that you could be parading around an ugly baby, unaware. You’ll have to retract this photo too — a clumsy friend might even confess at this point. But what you now know is that at least one of your friends is the kind who’d let you believe your ugly baby is cute.
You might be wondering if it’s possible for any baby to be ugly or just uncute. Get off your high horse and get down on the stable floors with me. We both know that once you cross into your 30s and more and more people start having families the tenor of mean-girl conversation turns to this. You’re probably drinking an IPA or a glass of white wine (gross) in a not-loud, well-lit place, but all the same, after two drinks, you’re going to lower your voice and insult the looks of a mutual acquaintance’s loved one. But you’re older now, the areas of social vulnerability have expanded, and instead of insulting someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend, you insult their baby. I don’t think she’s that cute, you say, giddy with the mean thrill.
Maybe your friend agrees with you, maybe she doesn’t. Perhaps the lesson to learn from this is that everyone’s baby is cute to someone or a few someones, who are hopefully their family. If that’s true, then everyone’s baby is probably ugly to at least a few people. If you trick them, you might be able to figure out if those someones are your friends.
My son just turned 15 months, and I’m not really sure. I think he might be objectively cute. Legend has it that my best friend’s mom — who has four grandchildren — deemed him an “exceptionally cute baby” in the presence of my best friend, who has a son born just months before mine. This kind of social evidence leads me to believe that my assessment is accurate, but I accept that I might never actually know. Recently, though, a group of mean-ish moms made me wonder if a little bit of conniving could have given me more of an idea.
Here’s what happened: My neighbor Liz is on a text chain with a group of moms who live in her native Australia. A friend of theirs gave birth earlier this month and was being indecisive about choosing a name. After nine days of nameless baby, Liz received an update: The newborn now had a name, and it was Charlene. Liz did what most people would do when faced with a seemingly unchangeable fact about a new friend’s baby. She lied: Beautiful!she responded. She can be Charlie.
But Charlene was not the baby’s name at all. To see if they could prompt a false fawning reaction, Liz’s friends had presented a fake name, one they found unfortunate and knew that, in her heart, Liz would too. From half a world away, they went about making merciless fun of her. When I heard this story, I felt joy first and foremost. Then I felt inspiration.
If you can gauge your friends’ honesty over a name, why not apply the same technique to a photo? While you might not ever know the true nature of your baby’s looks, tricking your friends will at least let you know if your Instagram likes are born out of obligation or merit. The scheme I’m about to outline works best if your baby is very new and underexposed online. All you need to do is find one random, not-cute baby photo from the internet, and do what Liz’s friends did: Send the lie to a friend and say he’s yours.
Now, I doubt even the meanest of your friends is likely to say your baby isn’t cute. But I do think you can do some decoding. What does the reaction say, exactly?
Get unlimited access to The Cut and everything else New York.
Wow, look at his expression! What a smart-looking baby. He looks like he’s really thinking and taking the world in. Congratulations: This means you can trust your friend, who cannot bring herself to lie about an ugly baby. She is searching and working, hard, to compliment him in departments other than looks. Your next step is to send her a text like this: Haha, weird. I sent the wrong pic. That’s actually a baby from my mom group. This one’s mine. And if she reacts the same way, refusing to rely on physical compliments? It’s possible you’ll never really know if your baby’s ugly. He might be. He might not be. Maybe you just don’t have superficial friends.
But say your friend reacts like this: OMG, what a gorgeous baby! That is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. AW, sooooo cute. Well. You have a little bit more of a hint that you could be parading around an ugly baby, unaware. You’ll have to retract this photo too — a clumsy friend might even confess at this point. But what you now know is that at least one of your friends is the kind who’d let you believe your ugly baby is cute.
You might be wondering if it’s possible for any baby to be ugly or just uncute. Get off your high horse and get down on the stable floors with me. We both know that once you cross into your 30s and more and more people start having families the tenor of mean-girl conversation turns to this. You’re probably drinking an IPA or a glass of white wine (gross) in a not-loud, well-lit place, but all the same, after two drinks, you’re going to lower your voice and insult the looks of a mutual acquaintance’s loved one. But you’re older now, the areas of social vulnerability have expanded, and instead of insulting someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend, you insult their baby. I don’t think she’s that cute, you say, giddy with the mean thrill.
Maybe your friend agrees with you, maybe she doesn’t. Perhaps the lesson to learn from this is that everyone’s baby is cute to someone or a few someones, who are hopefully their family. If that’s true, then everyone’s baby is probably ugly to at least a few people. If you trick them, you might be able to figure out if those someones are your friends.
My son just turned 15 months, and I’m not really sure. I think he might be objectively cute. Legend has it that my best friend’s mom — who has four grandchildren — deemed him an “exceptionally cute baby” in the presence of my best friend, who has a son born just months before mine. This kind of social evidence leads me to believe that my assessment is accurate, but I accept that I might never actually know. Recently, though, a group of mean-ish moms made me wonder if a little bit of conniving could have given me more of an idea.
Here’s what happened: My neighbor Liz is on a text chain with a group of moms who live in her native Australia. A friend of theirs gave birth earlier this month and was being indecisive about choosing a name. After nine days of nameless baby, Liz received an update: The newborn now had a name, and it was Charlene. Liz did what most people would do when faced with a seemingly unchangeable fact about a new friend’s baby. She lied: Beautiful!she responded. She can be Charlie.
But Charlene was not the baby’s name at all. To see if they could prompt a false fawning reaction, Liz’s friends had presented a fake name, one they found unfortunate and knew that, in her heart, Liz would too. From half a world away, they went about making merciless fun of her. When I heard this story, I felt joy first and foremost. Then I felt inspiration.
If you can gauge your friends’ honesty over a name, why not apply the same technique to a photo? While you might not ever know the true nature of your baby’s looks, tricking your friends will at least let you know if your Instagram likes are born out of obligation or merit. The scheme I’m about to outline works best if your baby is very new and underexposed online. All you need to do is find one random, not-cute baby photo from the internet, and do what Liz’s friends did: Send the lie to a friend and say he’s yours.
Now, I doubt even the meanest of your friends is likely to say your baby isn’t cute. But I do think you can do some decoding. What does the reaction say, exactly?
Get unlimited access to The Cut and everything else New York.
Wow, look at his expression! What a smart-looking baby. He looks like he’s really thinking and taking the world in. Congratulations: This means you can trust your friend, who cannot bring herself to lie about an ugly baby. She is searching and working, hard, to compliment him in departments other than looks. Your next step is to send her a text like this: Haha, weird. I sent the wrong pic. That’s actually a baby from my mom group. This one’s mine. And if she reacts the same way, refusing to rely on physical compliments? It’s possible you’ll never really know if your baby’s ugly. He might be. He might not be. Maybe you just don’t have superficial friends.
But say your friend reacts like this: OMG, what a gorgeous baby! That is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. AW, sooooo cute. Well. You have a little bit more of a hint that you could be parading around an ugly baby, unaware. You’ll have to retract this photo too — a clumsy friend might even confess at this point. But what you now know is that at least one of your friends is the kind who’d let you believe your ugly baby is cute.
You might be wondering if it’s possible for any baby to be ugly or just uncute. Get off your high horse and get down on the stable floors with me. We both know that once you cross into your 30s and more and more people start having families the tenor of mean-girl conversation turns to this. You’re probably drinking an IPA or a glass of white wine (gross) in a not-loud, well-lit place, but all the same, after two drinks, you’re going to lower your voice and insult the looks of a mutual acquaintance’s loved one. But you’re older now, the areas of social vulnerability have expanded, and instead of insulting someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend, you insult their baby. I don’t think she’s that cute, you say, giddy with the mean thrill.
Maybe your friend agrees with you, maybe she doesn’t. Perhaps the lesson to learn from this is that everyone’s baby is cute to someone or a few someones, who are hopefully their family. If that’s true, then everyone’s baby is probably ugly to at least a few people. If you trick them, you might be able to figure out if those someones are your friends.